Martial Arts History Scorecard

posted in: Humor, Uncategorized | 0

When recounting the history of one’s martial art, it has long been required that one embellish or fabricate fascinating details.  For those unfamiliar with the history of East Asian arts, a scorecard can prove useful for evaluating the quality of the story.*

Martial Arts History Scorecard

1 Point for the following references:

  • Used by the military of {Country of Origin}
  • Taught to first American instructor (i.e., the first instructor whose presence in the U.S. can be verified from government records) by respected practitioner in Asia
  • Developed alongside a code of honor
  • Developed from 2 older arts
  • Pure, unmixed art for 50 years
  • Developed as a “street fighting” art

3 points:

  • Used by the military of {other country}
  • Taught to first modern instructor by secret society
  • First modern instructor required to undergo grueling test to be accepted as student
  • Derived from principles developed by Wong Fei Hung or Miyamoto Musashi
  • Developed from 3-5 older arts
  • Has “secret technique”
  • Pure, unmixed art for 100 years
  • Developed alongside a related healing art that uses some sort of “energy”
  • Developed by the special forces of {country}
  • Actively encourages students to engage in Mixed Martial Art (MMA) fights

5 points:

  • Taught to first modern instructor by hermit(s) in an inaccessible area
  • Has “death touch”
  • Developed from the “best parts of all other martial arts”
  • Derived from principles developed by the Yellow Emporer
  • Pure, unmixed art for 1000 years
  • Actively encourages students to get into bar/street fights
  • Ranking students must defeat an instructor in single combat to become an instructor

 

Now add up your points and evaluate!

  • 1-5 points–Too mundane
  • 5-10 points–Now we’re talking
  • 11-15 points–This martial art clearly deserves its own movie
  • 16+ points–This is the best martial art in the history of the world.

 

*Though not the art itself, unless perhaps by inverse proportion to the score.

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